"Heavy"

After watching the first episode of the documentary series "Heavy", I became even more aware of my weight. I'm delusioned into thinking that I'm that overweight, but I'm still not in the healthy range. So immediately after my friend left when the episode finished, I went out for a run.
Mind you, I do not like running. To be more precise, running does not like me. About 5 minutes into running, my lungs kick in (or my vocal cord dysfunction, as my doctor seems to think I have instead...you decide which is easier to say) and I start sucking in for air that just doesn't come. So I do a pathetic walk/run combo. Today (at midnight, around my neighborhood) I ran/walked for approximately...10 minutes.
I'm not that out of shape, I can swim or bike or row for a lot longer than that, but my lungs just can't handle running.
No excuses, though. The point is: I am wildly out of shape. The most exercise I've done in the last 4 months is walk the dog around the park.
The worst part of it all is that after I exercise to get ride of all the calories I've already eaten that day, I immediately feel that I can reward myself with food. Somehow, in my twisted brain, exercising to lose weight = I get to eat all the calories back again. I need to find a non-food reward for myself. Currently after a workout I'm just focusing on drinking lots of water and hopefully that will crave my oral fixation and fill my stomach, for the moment.
Until later in the witching hour when my salt tooth strikes...dun dun dun.